Get your social media certificate

It’s not just certificates in answering the phone, putting the seat up in the toilet (for men), typing and proper use of the telex that employers are looking for these days. Oh no. One needs to know social media in order to do business and a business that wants to do business with a business that wants to do business in a business-like way, needs to do their business in a social and a media way now too. So they need social media.

Years ago it was suggested that bloggers get a badge and accreditation in order to be allowed to blog and as an extension of this we should consider a “driving licence” style regime for social media. Twitter, Facebook and Friendster can be dangerous things in the wrong hands. Would you let your dog drive your car without doing their driving test? NO.

Here at MulleyCorp we’d like to share the top ten secrets to win at social media and if you can say yes to the following list then we think you too can start on the socialpath to social media greatness. We encourage you to download this certificate in social media and fax it to all your clients to show them how you mean business in a social media way.

The Top Ten to earn your social media certificate:

  • 1. Do you have a Twitter, Facebook and a LinkedIn?
  • b. Do you know how to use hashtags? #hashtags
  • 4. Do you subscribe to Chris Brogan, Gary difficultnamewineguy and Seth Godin?
  • 5. Do you follow the formula on how to appear genuine like Chris suggests? (minute 3.40 onwards)
  • 6. Do you know how to contact a blogger to get them to remove negative stuff about your brand?
  • 7. Do you know how to quote from the most overquoted social media casestudies ever?
  • 8. Do you know how to write a blog for your C.E.O.?
  • 9. Are you listening? Do you use monitoring tools to find social media badvocates?
  • 10. Do you message Stephen Fry on a regular basis on Twitter and inform people of your chat?

Congratulations. You’ve graduated. You may now download your social media certificate.

Remember though, this is just the certificate. The degree course and PhD are on their way. We’d appreciate some links, Tweets and whatnot. We are very very sorry thought that it takes natural talent and neck to be a guru. Some things even we can teach.

(PDF template from here)

19 thoughts on “Get your social media certificate”

  1. It would appear that Social Media secrets 2 & 3 aren’t ready to be released to the general population yet. Does that mean the anyone who has downloaded a certificate isn’t properly accredited? We cant afford another certificate fiasco after the recent FAS debacle.

  2. Hilarious!! I love it – thanks for the comic relief. Of course there’s somewhat of a serious undertone, but hey – great writing style, Damien!! I may even send my peeps here.


  3. Yes, yes and OMG YES!

    You could also add:

    – Can you trawl the web and compile a top 10 list of anything at all for your blog posts?

    – Are you well versed in American-ese and do you regularly use the word ‘awesome’ when commenting on blog posts?

    – Do you find you have perfected the art of speaking in sentences of 140 characters or less?

    I qualify! LMAO, my new cert is totally awesome! Thanks..

  4. Dear MulleyCorp

    I would subscribe to your newsletter and classes? Pleas send me PayPla details and a time and place to attend your school. I will bring my own pencil.

    I like you’re certificate. I think it’s importance to my future as a media social expert will be invaluable.

    Sign off with a X


  5. Brilliant!

    I’m assuming that there is an app to get my certificate filled out by a calligrapher. You, to make it all professional looking and stuff.

  6. Dena, I think if you put it in your printer the right way, you can put your name on it in Comic Sans, just to make sure it looks perfect?

  7. Dearest Damien,

    I am a genuine young man, genuinely asking if you might grant me a genuine certification.

    You see, I am in a spot of bother, I was once the crown prince of my work’s blog, but now I see that my boss has been blogging in your blog, and he is now blogging in our work blog.

    Standing thus deposed, I wonder if you might send me your bank account details, so that I might more easily be certified. If I get certification I can emigrate to Cork with my millions of dollars worth of blog posts.


    (Crowned Prince) SirJolt

  8. Instant certification, now that’s what I call an efficient web site.

    I can really appreciate this blog. Nowadays there are blogs, microblogs, sub blogs, bloggers blogging about microbloggers blogging about cats.

    If it was decided that bloggers had to get accreditation for what they do, I don’t think we would have nearly the amount of (good) content we have on the web. Many bloggers are accredited with their careers and reputations, and those who don’t will either have to build their credit up or find some other way to spend endless hours on the internet (I know, it’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it).

  9. Dearest Mulleycorp

    It would appear that your internet blogsite is not optimised for today’s consumer.

    You should be aware that these days, the customer is in control and as such, consumers no longer listen to your brand messages – this isn’t about Push communications any more.

    As a extremely well known internet blogger, I would be happy to offer you my extremely well-resented experience and knowledge and tell all my foolowers how you have seen sense and decided to employ me for the small sum of… £1 million dollars…

    I shall provide my bank details forthwith and look forward to not doing much for the next few months.

    Love and best wishes

    Paul “how to earn a million dollars using Twitter, 5 seconds a day” Fabretti.

    p.s. My new ebook “How to earn a million dollars using Twitter, 5 seconds a day” Fabretti will be out soon at all good bookstores and many, many crap ebook directories…

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